Reclaiming Your Voice, Healing Silence

Reclaiming Your Voice: Healing Silence After Trauma, Criticism, and Emotional Harm

What if you’re not afraid to speak up — but afraid of what happened when you did?

In this episode of Pulling Threads, therapist, former attorney, and mindfulness teacher Leslie Mathews explores why so many thoughtful, capable people struggle to use their voice — even when they know their ideas matter.

This isn’t about public speaking tips or “just being brave.”

It’s about how silence becomes a survival strategy when speaking up once led to ridicule, punishment, emotional withdrawal, or subtle psychological harm.

Drawing from personal experience, trauma-informed psychology, nervous system regulation, and years of therapeutic work, Leslie unpacks:

How people lose their voice over time

Why the body reacts before the mind

How relationships and family dynamics reinforce silence

What reclaiming your voice actually takes — layer by layer

If you’ve ever:

Tightened up when trying to speak your truth

Second-guessed your words in certain relationships

Felt “too much,” not articulate enough, or quietly dismissed

Gone silent to keep the peace

This conversation is for you.

Reclaiming your voice is not about becoming louder.

It’s about becoming safer inside yourself.

⏱️ Episode Timestamps

00:00 – Why courage isn’t enough to reclaim your voice

01:00 – When speaking up once led to punishment or ridicule

02:00 – The deeper fear behind silence

03:00 – Growing up outspoken — and learning it wasn’t safe

04:00 – Mockery, sarcasm, and being “too much”

05:00 – Losing confidence after early performance experiences

06:00 – Subtle put-downs in intimate relationships

07:00 – Intelligence comparisons and self-monitoring speech

08:00 – From neuroscience to law: how self-doubt redirects lives

09:00 – How people actually lose their voice

10:00 – Silence as a learned nervous system response

11:00 – Trauma responses: tight throat, stammering, going blank

12:00 – Gender, power, and social penalties for speaking up

13:00 – Psychological harm in “quiet” relationships

14:00 – Awareness: recognizing where silence was learned

15:00 – Grieving the years you stayed small

16:00 – Your ideas aren’t gone — they’re waiting

17:00 – Experimenting with safer spaces to speak

18:00 – Therapy, coaching, and community support

19:00 – Regulation: staying present in your body

20:00 – Finding environments where your voice is welcomed

21:00 – Rebuilding self-trust

22:00 – When fear stops controlling you

23:00 – Teaching the nervous system it’s safe now

24:00 – Speaking without apology or performance

25:00 – Living authentically after silence

26:00 – Support, rebuilding, and next steps

27:00 – Closing reflections & invitation

🔗 Connect With Me

Website: https://www.theloomlife.com

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Therapy Practice: Loom Life Therapy

If this episode resonated, consider sharing it with someone who has gone quiet — not because they had nothing to say, but because it once wasn’t safe.