Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity

Why do we keep choosing partners who hurt us? In this episode, mental health advocate and author Petrona Joseph joins Leslie to unpack trauma bonds, unsafe love, and the abandonment wound that drives the loop.▶ WORK WITH LESLIE8-week divorce recovery program — THROUGH: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram1:1 coaching with Leslie: https://theloomlife.com▶ ABOUT THIS EPISODEPetrona Joseph spent years pushing through panic attacks, depression, and a 17-year on-and-off relationship she now recognizes as a trauma bond. In this conversation she shares the moment her anxiety stopped her on a bridge in rush hour, why she resisted antidepressants for a decade, and how a primary caregiver's absence early in life shaped the unsafe partners she kept choosing as an adult.Leslie and Petrona dig into the neuroscience of trauma bonds (why they feel exactly like love), what "closing the loop" of a childhood wound actually looks like in adult relationships, and why most men in their 40s, 50s, and 60s still don't have a single safe person to talk to. This one is for anyone who has watched themselves return — over and over — to a person who keeps hurting them, and is starting to wonder if it's something deeper than love.▶ WHAT YOU'LL LEARNWhy trauma bonds get mistaken for love — and the biological reason the pull is so strongHow an abandonment wound from childhood shapes who you're attracted to as an adultThe difference between an unsafe person and someone who is just imperfectWhat it looked like for Petrona to finally accept a depression diagnosis after years of resistanceWhy "experiential" mental health advocacy matters alongside clinical expertiseThe state of men's mental health and why most men have no safe people▶ ABOUT THE GUESTPetrona Joseph is an award-winning Communications Strategist, Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award recipient, and MHFA-certified Mental Health Workshop Facilitator. A trilingual Concordia University graduate in Linguistics, she is the author of Stigmatized: Demystifying Mental Health Illness and the upcoming Unsafe Love: Healing From Trauma Bonds, Betrayal, and Unsafe Attachment. Through Above Healing and Wellness, she has reached over 10,000 people across North America with workshops on resilience and early intervention.Timestamp:00:00 Welcome Petrona Joseph02:10 Thinking in French and growing up multilingual05:05 From Trinidad to Grenada, New York, and Montreal08:20 Ambition, law school, and ignoring mental health13:30 Luxury cars, PR, TV, and finding a new path19:45 Becoming “the annoying best friend” in PR22:00 Anxiety attacks and the beginning of advocacy30:10 The bridge panic attack that changed everything36:20 Accepting medication and getting support43:00 Healing is not a one-time fix49:30 When anxiety affects everyday life56:00 Going public about panic attacks1:02:00 Writing about depression and mental health1:08:00 Unsafe Love and trauma bonds1:15:30 Why trauma bonds feel like love1:24:00 Childhood wounds and repeating patterns1:33:30 Attachment, abandonment, and trying to close the loop1:43:00 When relationships become a place for healing1:56:00 What secure love and repair can look like2:10:00 Building psychologically safe relationships and cultures2:18:30 Becoming a safe person after unsafe patterns2:28:00 Mental health crisis support and men’s mental health2:40:00 Why men need safe spaces too2:52:00 Petrona’s books and where to find her2:57:00 Closing reflections and goodbyeFollow Petrona on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iampetronajoseph▶ CONNECT WITH LESLIEWebsite: https://theloomlife.comTherapy practice: https://loomlifetherapy.comPersonal site: https://leslieellenmathews.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.lifeTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews▶ IF THIS EPISODE HELPEDSubscribe, leave a 5-star rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and share this episode with someone you think needs to hear it. Reviews are how new listeners find the show.#TraumaBonds #UnsafeLove #MentalHealthPodcast #DivorceRecovery #AbandonmentWound #AvoidantAttachment #PullingThreads

Why do so many men have no close friends by 50? In For the Boys (Ep. 7), Leslie pulls back the threads on male loneliness — and the hidden flaw in how men build friendship.→ Work with Leslie 1:1 (book a discovery call): theloomlife.com→ In Florida? Therapy with Leslie: loomlifetherapy.com→ More from Leslie: leslieellenmathews.com→ Instagram @the.loom.life · TikTok @leslieellenmathews———If something bad happened tonight, who would you call at ten o’clock just to be heard? If you struggled to name someone — or named someone you haven’t actually called in years — you’re not unusual. You’re statistically average for a man in your demographic, and it’s one of the quietest, most costly features of modern male life.In this episode, Leslie looks directly at male loneliness and the friendship gap so many men hit in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. Studies over the last two decades show a steady decline in close male friendships — with roughly 15% of men reporting no close friends at all, and about one in four saying they have no one to lean on for personal support. The isolation tends to climb after marriage, fatherhood, divorce, and retirement.The core idea: most men’s friendships are built on “activity scaffolding” — you’re friends because you golf, work, or your kids play together. When the activity ends, the friendship quietly ends with it, because the activity WAS the connection. Women more often build on “disclosure scaffolding” — friendships held together by what’s been shared — which is far more portable. Divorce is one of the most efficient scaffolding-removers there is.Leslie walks through the three steps that actually rebuild connection in midlife:1) Decide to build friendship on purpose — it won’t arrive by accident.2) Choose disclosure on purpose — tell one man something slightly more honest than your default.3) Build a structure that does the work for you — a men’s group, a recovery community, or a standing dinner with a rule to talk about the real thing.This is the most important non-romantic relational work a man can do — and it protects the next relationship from carrying weight no single person was meant to hold.A note on supportThis conversation touches on isolation and men’s mental health. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to carry it alone. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 anytime to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.CHAPTERS (see timestamps below — verify against final video before publishing).Keywords: male loneliness, midlife male friendship, men with no friends, how to make friends as a man, male friendship after divorce, men’s mental health, life after divorce for men.#ForTheBoys #MensMentalHealth #MaleLoneliness #PullingThreads #LifeAfterDivorce00:00 The Question: Who Would You Call at 10pm?01:10 For the Boys, Ep. 7 — The Friendship Piece02:50 The Hard Facts: Male Friendship in Decline04:40 Why Men Around 50 Are High Risk06:00 The Fatal Flaw: Activity Scaffolding07:50 How Women Build Friendships Differently08:50 Why Divorce Removes the Scaffolding09:40 The Script Men Were Raised With14:50 When You Reach for the Phone — and There’s No One15:40 Step 1: Build Friendship on Purpose16:30 Step 2: Choose Disclosure With One Man17:30 Step 3: Build a Structure That Does the Work18:50 Don’t Put It All on the Next Partner20:00 Closing + How to Work With Leslie

Money is never just money. In this solo episode of Pulling Threads, Leslie Mathews explores why money affirmations and manifestation so often fail — and why real abundance work has to happen in the body, the nervous system, and the family story you inherited.➤ Ready to do this work with support? Book a free discovery call: https://theloomlife.com/discoverycall➤ More from The Loom Life: https://theloomlife.comYou can repeat “money flows to me easily” until you believe you mean it and still feel a quiet ceiling you can’t push through. That’s not a mindset failure. The part of your nervous system that decides what you’re allowed to receive isn’t listening to your affirmations — it’s listening to your history.In this episode, Leslie unspools the tangle of money one thread at a time: the legacy burdens we inherit from parents and grandparents, the protective “parts” that overwork, under-earn, hoard, or give too much away, and the complex trauma that can make expansion feel physically dangerous. She breaks down how money wounds show up differently for women — the “good girl” conditioning around wanting and receiving — and for men — the provider equation and the shame of feeling “not enough to carry it.” And she explains why divorce is one of the most accelerated abundance journeys a person can move through.Then she gets practical, walking through the tools that actually move this work: Internal Family Systems (IFS) for the protective parts, EMDR for the specific memories that locked them in place, and subconscious work through guided meditation and hypnosis. This is a science-meets-spirit conversation about learning to feel safe enough to receive.Whether you’re years post-divorce like Leslie or just starting to notice your own money ceiling, this is a gentle, honest invitation to meet your money story with curiosity instead of shame.IN THIS EPISODEWhy “money is never just money” — and what it’s really carryingLegacy burdens: the money beliefs you inherited without consenting to themHow protective parts quietly run your financial life (IFS)When abundance becomes neurologically “dangerous”The different money wounds women and men carryWhy divorce surfaces every unhealed money beliefUsing IFS, EMDR, and subconscious work togetherCHAPTERS00:00 — Why affirmations alone don’t move the money ceiling00:50 — What this episode is about (science meets spirit)03:00 — The layer beneath the story: your body’s history06:00 — Why money is never just money08:00 — Legacy burdens: the beliefs you inherited10:30 — Your protective money parts (IFS)12:00 — When complex trauma makes abundance feel dangerous14:30 — Watch what your parents did, not what they said18:00 — The deeper inheritance: generational money wounds19:00 — Women & “good girl” money conditioning22:00 — Men & the provider equation24:00 — Divorce as an accelerated abundance journey27:00 — Doing the work: IFS & unburdening31:00 — EMDR for the memories that locked it in34:00 — The subconscious layer: hypnosis & meditation36:00 — Why you need all the tools, not one lane40:00 — 4 places to start your own abundance work43:00 — Working together & final thoughtsRESOURCES & LINKS➤ Book a free discovery call: https://theloomlife.com/discoverycall➤ THROUGH — 8-week divorce coaching program for women: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram➤ Website: https://theloomlife.com➤ Loom Life Therapy: https://loomlifetherapy.com➤ Instagram: @the.loom.life➤ TikTok: @leslieellenmathews➤ Email: leslie@theloomlife.comModalities & tools mentioned in this episode: Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, polyvagal theory, Gabby Bernstein’s Abundance Challenge, and the To Be Magnetic Money Block hypnosis.If this resonated, subscribe for new episodes of Pulling Threads, and leave a rating or review — it helps more people find this work.Keywords: money trauma, abundance blocks, IFS therapy, EMDR, money mindset, nervous system healing, divorce recovery, manifestation, somatic healing, money blocks#PullingThreads #MoneyTrauma #AbundanceMindset #IFSTherapy #DivorceRecovery

What if rock bottom is actually solid ground for the first time? Ariane Vera on starting over after burnout & divorce.▸ THROUGH — Leslie's 8-week divorce coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram▸ The Atelier — Ariane's membership for women building businesses: https://www.thejournalofahealer.com/p/the-atelier3In this episode of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity, Leslie sits down with Ariane Vera — founder of The Atelier, 12-time author, and 3-time TEDx speaker — for a conversation about what it actually takes to restart your life when burnout, divorce, chronic pain, and a global lockdown all arrive at once.Ariane left the corporate world after a burnout her body had been warning her about for months. She moved to Mexico, started over from scratch, and turned her journaling practice into a book, a coaching method, and a membership community for women rebuilding their lives and businesses.Leslie and Ariane go deep on the parts of the journey most people don't talk about — the loneliness of outgrowing relationships, the fear of being too much, the patriarchal programming that teaches women to disappear, and the visibility wounds that quietly sabotage how we show up online. They also get into human design, re-parenting, money mindset, and why your podcast (or business, or art) only starts working when it's an energetic match for who you actually are.What you'll take away from this episode:• Why your body's signals matter more than your career plan• How to tell a "messy middle" friendship from one that's ready to break• Ariane's Inner Colors journaling method for tracking intuition and triggers• The difference between performing visibility and embodying it• How to price your work without flinchingWORK WITH LESLIE▸ THROUGH — 8-week divorce coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram▸ 1:1 coaching — book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com▸ Loom Life Therapy (EMDR, IFS, trauma): https://loomlifetherapy.com▸ Leslie's writing & resources: https://leslieellenmathews.comCONNECT WITH ARIANE▸ The Atelier membership: https://www.thejournalofahealer.com/p/the-atelier3▸ The 30-Day Reset ($7): https://www.thejournalofahealer.com/p/the-30-day-reset-1024661▸ Book — The Healing Journals (on Amazon)▸ Instagram: @ariane__vera▸ Substack: Heal & ScaleFOLLOW PULLING THREADS▸ Instagram: @the.loom.life▸ TikTok: @leslieellenmathews▸ Subscribe so you don't miss Thursday solo episodes and Saturday's new series for men.If this episode resonated, the kindest thing you can do is leave a rating, drop a comment with the moment that landed for you, and share it with one friend who's in the middle of their own restart.#PullingThreads #PersonalGrowthPodcast #DivorceRecovery #BurnoutRecovery #WomenInBusiness

Men's anger after divorce isn't really about anger — it's a translator for grief, fear, shame, and longing. Book a discovery call: [DISCOVERY CALL URL] | theloomlife.com If you're a man who is divorced, separating, or on the other side of a long marriage that ended in any direction, this episode is for you. Leslie Mathews walks through the kind of anger that sits in your chest at the grocery store, the flash of rage at a driver who didn't really do anything, the flatness that's one wrong comment away from breaking you. The advice most men get — manage it, tame it, apologize for it — is exactly what makes the anger dig in deeper. In this episode, you'll learn:• Why your anger keeps coming back no matter how much you work out, cold plunge, or breathe through it• The four emotions hiding underneath male divorce anger: grief, fear, shame, and longing• Which of the four is most likely your door — and how to recognize it when it shows up• What healing actually looks like (smaller and quieter than the internet is selling you)• An honest note on the kind of anger that needs more than a podcast can offer This is episode 6 of the For the Boys playlist on Pulling Threads. If you're a woman supporting a man through this — maybe an ex-husband, a friend, or a son — this episode can give you language for what he may not be able to name. ———WORK WITH LESLIE• Book a discovery call: [DISCOVERY CALL URL]• Learn more: https://theloomlife.com FOLLOW ALONG• Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life• TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews NEXT IN THIS PLAYLISTEpisode 7 — Why so many men didn't see the divorce coming, and what to do with what comes after. (Link will be added once published.) A NOTE ON SAFETYThere is a version of male anger that is dangerous — to the people around you, to your kids, to yourself. The work in this episode isn't a substitute for help if you're in that territory. If your anger has scared someone you love or scared you, please reach out to a therapist, a men's group, or your doctor. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at any time. CHAPTERS00:00 Who this episode is for01:00 Body scan: where you're holding tension03:00 The kind of anger we're talking about04:00 Welcome to For the Boys05:00 The blindsided moment (preview of Episode 7)06:00 Anger isn't the problem — it's a signal07:30 The four emotions underneath08:00 Grief: what's actually been lost09:00 Fear: the future just got wider10:00 Shame: the failure narrative11:00 Longing: the hardest one12:00 Why managing your anger doesn't work13:00 What healing actually looks like15:00 An important note on dangerous anger16:30 Letting the translator rest17:00 How to keep going with this work Keywords: men's anger after divorce, letting go of anger after divorce, life coach for men after divorce, how men heal after divorce, divorce recovery for men, emotional recovery after breakup, men's mental health divorce, somatic work for men, nervous system regulation after divorce #MensMentalHealth #DivorceRecovery #PullingThreads #ForTheBoys #LifeCoachForMen

Are you in love with a man you’re quietly trying to fix? This episode names the pattern, the psychology behind it, and the way out.There is a script some of us learned long before we ever met him: love hard enough, see deeply enough, hold space generously enough, and you can reach the wounded part of him no one else has reached. Our culture calls these the highest things a woman can offer. Sometimes they are. And sometimes — wearing the exact same clothes — they are something else entirely.In this solo episode of Pulling Threads, I share the psychology that finally gave me language for what I had been doing in my own relationship, including the stretch I am not proud of and the part of me that learned in childhood that fixing equals safety. We meet the Michelangelo Effect (Drigotas, 1999) and its dangerous twin, the Pygmalion phenomenon — and the difference between affirming the partner he wants to become and chiseling him toward the one you need him to be.By the end you will have a framework for telling apart the three men you might actually be with: the one who is chiseling, the one who could but isn’t, and the one whose contempt makes this pattern dangerous, not just expensive.WORK WITH ME:→ Book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com→ THROUGH — my 8-week divorce coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram→ 1:1 coaching for women rebuilding relationships and themselves: https://theloomlife.comMORE FROM THE LOOM LIFE:→ The Loom Life (coaching): https://theloomlife.com→ Loom Life Therapy (EMDR, IFS, trauma therapy): https://loomlifetherapy.com→ Leslie Ellen Mathews: https://leslieellenmathews.com→ Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life→ TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathewsCOMPANION EPISODE FOR THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE:→ “They Told You Women Want a Beast” (For the Boys playlist) — send it to him if anything in today’s episode named something you’ve been carrying together.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:→ The Michelangelo phenomenon, Drigotas, Rusbult, et al. (1999)→ The Pygmalion phenomenon as the unhealthy twin→ The “fix-him script” and the “psych nurse” part→ The three situations: the man chiseling, the man who could but isn’t, the man with contemptIf anything here named something you’ve been carrying, drop a comment and tell me where you are in this — whether you’ve seen David, whether you’ve tried to carve your own, or whether you’re questioning the whole thing right now. Other women read these comments and learn from them.Take exquisite care of yourselves out there.— Leslie#PullingThreads #TheLoomLife #FixHimTrap #MichelangeloEffect #RelationshipPodcast #HealingPodcast #WomenInRelationshipsKEYWORDS: how to stop trying to fix him, fix him trap, fix him syndrome, Michelangelo effect relationships, Pygmalion phenomenon, codependency, people pleasing in relationships, attachment wounds, healing after toxic relationship, mental health podcast for women, relationship podcast, IFS parts work, women’s personal growth

Healing after divorce starts in the body — not the spreadsheet. In this conversation, crisis coach Pamela Dussault joins Leslie Mathews to share why nervous system reset has to come before any of the practical work, and how women rebuild self-trust after an abusive marriage, burnout, or estrangement.▶ Ready for structured support through divorce? Learn about THROUGH, Leslie's 8-week coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram▶ Book a free discovery call with Pamela: https://pamela-dussault-consulting.com——————————————In this episode of Pulling Threads, Pamela Dussault — a coach with more than 23 years of experience guiding women through divorce, burnout, estrangement, and existential reckoning — walks us through her signature framework she calls "victory." Pamela's path began with her own series of storms, including a divorce from an abusive partner who threatened her life when she sought to leave. From that breaking point, she built a methodology that moves clients through three anchors: resetting the nervous system, disrupting the identity and belief patterns that no longer serve them, and rebuilding self-trust so they can emerge as the most authentic version of themselves.Leslie and Pamela talk candidly about the moment of awakening that comes inside crisis — when you finally see that the wall in front of you is actually a new beginning. They explore what it feels like to choose change, why acceptance is the hardest and most empowering step, and how something as small as the "butterfly tap" under the collarbone can move you out of fear and back into your body's wisdom. Pamela also shares her own story of setting new standards for love after divorce, and why it took her four years to find a relationship that matched what she actually wanted.If you're in the middle of your own storm — divorce, burnout, an estrangement, or that quiet existential question of "is this really my life?" — this episode is a gentle, grounded reminder that change isn't happening to you. It's happening for you.WHAT WE COVER:• Why nervous system reset has to come before the legal, financial, and parenting decisions• The "butterfly" technique and a hand-on-heart practice you can use today• How to spot the belief patterns keeping you in a life that doesn't fit anymore• Pamela's three-pillar framework: reset, disrupt, rebuild• Setting new standards for love (and why this isn't about finding a partner)• Holding both connection and distance in estrangement• The Disneyland moment when joy comes back — and what to do with itTIMESTAMP00:00 Welcome & introducing Pamela Dussault01:30 The one thing your younger self would be surprised by04:00 'I need to know this for a reason' — the wounded healer's path06:00 Leslie's newspaper-article moment & deciding to leave10:30 Pamela's 3am awakening & the gentle voice that changed everything14:00 The mind-body downloads after the spiritual opening18:00 The black-mold sign and trusting the universe20:30 What the reframe to hope actually looks like inside the pain23:30 Joy returning after suffering: the Disneyland story25:00 The first choice — acceptance is the hardest, most powerful move26:30 Why nervous system reset is the first pillar (not finances)29:00 Two practices: the butterfly tap & hand-on-heart31:30 Disrupting belief patterns: what story are you living in?34:30 Social media, constant fear, and the noise we absorb38:00 Burnout, career change, and the courage to stop40:30 Setting new standards for love after an abusive marriage43:30 Looking for the relationship — not the person45:30 How long it took, why she wasn't nervous, and what she refused to settle for48:30 When overwhelm is real and when it's a signal51:30 Pamela's three-pillar method: reset, disrupt, rebuild54:00 Estrangement: how to love from a distance57:00 The Pisces symbol — holding both wholeness and connection01:02:30 How to work with Pamela: discovery calls & the Victory package01:04:30 Closing reflectionsCONNECT WITH PAMELA DUSSAULT:• Website & free discovery call: https://pamela-dussault-consulting.com• Instagram & Threads: @pamela.dussault.consulting• All her links: https://linktr.ee/CrisisCoachPamela• Free burnout quiz: https://shorturl.at/8igxACONNECT WITH LESLIE & THE LOOM LIFE:• THROUGH — 8-week divorce program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram• Main hub: https://theloomlife.com• Therapy practice: https://loomlifetherapy.com• Leslie's site: https://leslieellenmathews.com• Instagram: @the.loom.life• TikTok: @leslieellenmathews▶ SUBSCRIBE for weekly conversations on divorce recovery, nervous system healing, and authentic living.▶ If this episode helped, leave a rating or review — it's the single best way to help another woman find this work.#DivorceRecoveryPodcast #NervousSystemReset #HealingAfterDivorce #PullingThreads #TheLoomLife

The internet keeps telling men that women secretly want a “beast” — that dominance, danger, and edge are what really attract her, and that being kind makes you invisible. In this episode of Pulling Threads (For the Boys, Episode 5), Leslie Mathews takes that advice seriously instead of dismissing it — and shows exactly where it’s half-true and where it goes dangerously wrong.Using the story of Beauty and the Beast, Leslie unpacks the difference between the Beast — wounded, complex, full of depth — and Gaston, the entitled, cruel man Belle actually rejects. The men’s-content space and manosphere has been telling you to become Gaston while calling him the Beast. What women are really scanning for isn’t danger; it’s contained intensity: depth, self-direction, and edge without the chaos or cruelty.This is a conversation about becoming the prince at the end of the story — not a different man, but the same man who finally did the work of meeting his own woundedness instead of weaponizing it.▶ WORK WITH LESLIEIf this episode landed for you — or for a man in your life — book a call with Leslie at https://theloomlife.com. Leslie is currently opening space for men ready to do this work.— — — (everything above this line shows before “Show more”) — — —IN THIS EPISODE• Why the “women want a beast” theory is sticky — and partly true• The “fix him” pattern and why it pulls people into painful relationships• The real difference between contained intensity and danger• How to have the depth and edge of the “bad boy” without the cost• What becoming the “prince” actually requiresCHAPTERS00:00 The “Women Want a Beast” Myth01:30 For the Boys, Ep. 5 — Taking the Advice Seriously03:00 The Manosphere Argument, Explained04:00 What’s Actually True About It05:30 The “Fix Him” Pattern06:00 The Beast Is Wounded, Not Cruel07:00 Gaston — The Man Belle Actually Rejects07:30 Contained Intensity vs. Danger09:00 Depth Without the Damage10:00 Women Drawn to Real Beasts10:30 Becoming the Prince: The Beast Who Did the Work12:30 Healing Inside Relationship15:00 What Actually Works: Contained Depth15:45 Closing & How to Work With LeslieABOUT THE SHOWPulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity is a podcast on personal growth, healing, relationships, nervous system regulation, and authentic living — hosted by Leslie Mathews, former attorney turned coach and founder of The Loom Life.CONNECTWebsite: https://theloomlife.comInstagram: @the.loom.lifeTikTok: @leslieellenmathewsIf this episode resonated, drop a comment below and subscribe for more from the For the Boys series.#PersonalGrowth #HealthyMasculinity #MensMentalHealth #RelationshipAdvice #PullingThreads

If you've been dating an avoidant man and you can't quite name what you've been tracking — this is for you. There's a paradox he can't articulate, and you've been guessing for your whole relationship. Today it gets language.👉 Ready to stop performing your way through this? Book a 1:1 discovery call with Leslie: https://theloomlife.com👉 If he's willing to do the work, send him the companion men's episode "Understanding Avoidant Attachment in Dating" on the For The Boys playlist.— — — — — — — — — —You are not crazy. You've been tracking something real. The fact that you can't quite name it is part of what makes the experience so disorienting — and it's the part the dating advice industrial complex never explains. In this companion episode to last week's For The Boys release, Leslie names what an avoidant man actually wants (yes, both things at once), why most online advice for women dating avoidant men is actively harmful, and what to do instead.In this episode:• The paradox he's been asking you to solve without telling you (and probably without knowing it himself)• Why "have your own life" as a strategy doesn't work — and what does• Performed distance vs. the real thing: why his nervous system can tell the difference instantly• Leslie's own story: the four-month discard, the conversation that changed everything, and what she learned saying no• The 5 things to actually do when you're dating an avoidant man• How to tell the difference between a healing avoidant and an unhealed one (this is the whole game)• Why "the full life is the point, not the bait"This episode pairs with For The Boys Ep. 4: "Understanding Avoidant Attachment in Dating" — same information, written for the man on the other side of this conversation.— — — — — — — — — —🧵 ABOUT PULLING THREADSPulling Threads is a podcast hosted by Leslie Mathews — former attorney turned coach and host of The Loom Life. The show explores attachment, dating, divorce recovery, nervous system regulation, somatic work, and authentic living.🌐 WORK WITH LESLIE• Website: https://theloomlife.com• Book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com• Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life• TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews📬 DROP A COMMENTDid this land for you — especially section 5 on whether he closes the gap? Tell Leslie below.00:00Welcome — A Companion Piece for the Girls01:00You Are Not Crazy02:00Why Most Dating Advice for Women Is Wrong03:00What He Actually Wants04:00Both Needs at Once: The Paradox05:00Leslie's Story: The Air Filter Moment07:00What You've Already Learned in Your Body08:00Same Week, Opposite Signals09:00Where Dismissive Avoidance Comes From10:00What His Nervous System Is Scanning You For11:00Leslie's Full Life When They Met12:00The Middle: When She Stopped Saying No13:00Why His System Reads You as a Threat14:00Why the Internet's Advice Is Harmful15:00Performed Distance Is Still Engulfment16:00The "Orbiters"17:00The Full Life Is the Point, Not the Bait18:00The Four-Month Discard19:00The Calm Response That Changed Everything21:00The 5 Recommendations Start Here22:001: Don't Text Him First All Day22:302: Don't Make Him Your Primary Emotional Regulator23:303: Let Him Pursue24:004: Communicate Clearly, Not in Questions24:305: Watch Whether He Closes the Gap26:00You're Not Weak. You're Not Too Much.27:00The Real Choice You Get to Make28:00Where to Find Leslie + Book a Call

Former model and longtime QVC host Chelsea Freeman on what it actually takes to reinvent yourself after a major life pivot — and why looking good has nothing to do with vanity.🌿 Work with Leslie: https://theloomlife.com✨ THROUGH — 8-Week Divorce Program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram📩 leslie@theloomlife.comIn this episode of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity, Leslie sits down with longtime friend Chelsea Freeman — seasoned QVC host, former shopping-TV model, and creator of The Chelsea Standard — for a wide-ranging conversation about identity, confidence, and the kind of reinvention that arrives whether you’re ready or not.Chelsea began her career in shopping television at just nineteen and spent years in front of the camera and behind the scenes in product development before stepping back from the industry to focus on family. After an unexpected family move from Florida to Pennsylvania, she launched The Chelsea Standard — a fashion, beauty, and lifestyle brand that’s allowed her to step into a fresh chapter on her own terms.Together, Leslie and Chelsea unpack:How early modeling shaped (and sometimes distorted) Chelsea’s relationship with her own bodyWhat our mothers and grandmothers passed down about beauty and worthThe difference between beauty as performance and beauty as self-careWhy “vanity” and “self-respect” are not the same thingPermission slips women rarely give themselves — to evolve, to take up space, to like the way they look without apologyHow to navigate big life pivots when they weren’t your ideaThis is a lighter episode about heavy themes: identity, visibility, self-worth, and the quiet work of becoming who you’ve always imagined yourself to be.✨ CONNECT WITH CHELSEAInstagram: @thechelseastandardTikTok: search “The Chelsea Standard”Catch her hosting on QVC🌐 CONNECT WITH LESLIEWebsite: https://theloomlife.comTherapy: https://loomlifetherapy.comPersonal: https://leslieellenmathews.comInstagram: @the.loom.lifeTikTok: @leslieellenmathews🎯 READY FOR YOUR OWN REINVENTION?Curious about working with Leslie 1:1 or joining the THROUGH divorce coaching program? Visit https://theloomlife.com to book a discovery call.📺 Subscribe for new episodes weekly — real conversations on healing, identity, and weaving an authentic life.⭐ If this episode resonated, leave a 5-star rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more women find conversations like these.#PullingThreads #ReinventingYourself #WomenInTransition #Confidence #PersonalGrowth