The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce: Staying Steady When It Falls Apart

Divorce doesn’t just end a marriage — it shakes your nervous system, your finances, and your sense of self. In this episode of Pulling Threads, therapist Kimberly McNary, LMFT, and host Leslie Mathews talk through how to move through divorce with clarity and steadiness instead of being run by panic.

Kimberly is the founder of The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce and uses EMDR and Emotionally Focused Therapy to help women navigate the emotional landscape of divorce. Together they unpack the surprises no one prepares you for, the early emotional decisions that cost women later, why you absolutely can do EMDR while you’re in the thick of it, and what it really means to stay “classy” (hint: it’s more sassy than polite).

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READY TO GET THROUGH YOUR DIVORCE — WHOLE?

THROUGH is Leslie’s structured divorce coaching program for women who want to come out the other side regulated, clear, and steady. Learn more & enroll: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram

CONNECT WITH LESLIE & THE LOOM LIFE

→ Coaching & podcast: https://theloomlife.com

→ Therapy (Florida clients): https://loomlifetherapy.com

→ Leslie’s personal site: https://leslieellenmathews.com

→ Instagram: @the.loom.life · TikTok: @leslieellenmathews

CHAPTERS

00:00 Welcome & meet Kimberly McNary

02:20 From couples therapy to becoming a divorce therapist

05:20 Can relationships heal after betrayal?

08:10 Kimberly's own divorce and what it taught her

10:55 The shame of being a marriage therapist going through divorce

13:20 The moments only someone who's lived divorce understands

15:50 Financial fears, keeping the house & thinking beyond survival

20:00 Why divorce support should be about more than legal advice

20:45 Leslie's first experience with dating after divorce

24:00 Timing, healing & reconnecting when you're both ready

26:00 How to know you're truly ready to date again

28:00 Dating from fear vs. dating from self-worth

30:00 Dating apps, honesty & protecting your children

33:00 Divorce with adult children and the "wait until they're grown" myth

36:00 Why healing after divorce can't be rushed

39:30 The hidden grief of divorce and rebuilding your identity

43:30 Trauma, EMDR & helping your nervous system heal

48:30 Childhood wounds that shape adult relationships

56:00 Learning to trust yourself again

1:04:00 Boundaries, co-parenting & protecting your peace

1:14:00 Building a life that finally feels like your own

1:18:00 Final thoughts & where to connect with Kimberly

Empower women through divorce and breakup transitions, drawing on EFT, EMDR, and her own lived experience. She practices in San Diego, CA.

→ Website: https://kimberlymcnary.com

ABOUT KIMBERLY McNARY, LMFT

Kimberly McNary is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 17+ years of experience supporting relationships and personal growth. She founded The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce.

→ Instagram: @classygirlsguidetodivorce & @mcnarytherapy

→ Facebook: McNary Therapy & The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce

→ LinkedIn: search “Kimberly McNary”

A NOTE OF SUPPORT

This conversation touches on emotional abuse, trauma, and nervous-system overwhelm. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to navigate it alone. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (text START to 88788). Support is available 24/7.

#PullingThreads #DivorceRecovery #EMDRTherapy #DivorceSupportForWomen #ClassyGirlsGuideToDivorce